FROG WARS

Sep. 20th, 2016 10:24 pm
[personal profile] tangaroa

In a galaxy far, far away...

FROG
WARS

Episode XIV: A New Hate

Rebel starships, striking from a secret base,
have managed to steal the plans for the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the 99-cent Magic Marker, that is
capable of drawing a racist symbol on a cartoon frog.

Really? That's what we're going with?

Okay.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents,
Princess 'lary races home aboard her starship...

Opening scene: The Empire's battleship ensares the Princess's ship in a tractor beam.

Scene: A welding torch burns through the access hatch, putting out smoke.

Scene: From further away, we see the torch burning through the access hatch in the background. In the foreground we the ship's crewmen, the A. Wyatt Mann "sweating Jew" caricature, bounce across the screen yelling "Oy vey! Shut it down!"

Scene: Close-up of the access hatch as the Empire breaks through. Stormtroopers step into the ship, firing their blasters.

Scene: Stormtroopers have secured the entryway. Behind them, stepping through the smoke, enters Darth Pepe, a green-recolored Vader with a dark blue cape, Trump hair, and a trapezoidal breather with a stripe of red paint across it that resembles Smug Pepe's smile.

Scene: Close-up of Darth Pepe's helmet. He puts a curled gloved finger to his chin.

Scene: The entryway with Darth Pepe and the stormtroopers. Darth Pepe says in his Vader voice, "Bring me the Princess." Fade out as the stormtroopers depart.

Scene: Darth Pepe and Princess 'lary in the torture chamber. Princess 'lary is strapped to a tilted table or dentist's chair.

Darth Pepe says "So, Princess, you thought you could escape me with this?" He holds up an ordinary black marker.

Princess 'lary: "Even someone as brutal as you would not dare use such a cruel device."

Darth Pepe: "Oh, really? Allow me to show you the true power of the Dark Side."

Darth Pepe walks to a whiteboard that has an outline of a green cartoon frog that is not Pepe, it is just some cute and silly looking frog.

Princess 'lary: "You wouldn't dare! No! Please stop!"

Darth Pepe draws a black line inside the frog.

Princess 'lary: "You monster!"

Darth Pepe draws a crossing black line.

Princess 'lary: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Princess 'lary sobs uncontrollably as Darth Pepe marks the finishing lines.

Darth Pepe puts the black marker back in a rack of colored markers. He displays the frog to the Princess. "Now you see the lengths to which the Empire will go in our quest to dominate the galaxy."

Princess 'lary looks up at Darth Pepe with anger in her eyes. She reaches a hand toward the rack of markers and uses the Force. The black marker rattles and then jumps into her hand. She quickly uncaps the marker and draws a swastika on Darth Pepe's body. Darth Pepe glances down at it, looks up again, and doesn't do anything.

Princess 'lary: "Ha! How do you like that? That's a taste of your own medicine!"

Darth Pepe shrugs. "So?"

Princess 'lary: "So now you're the Nazi!"

Darth Pepe: "So what? It'll rub off."

Princess 'lary: "It's the end of you, Darth Pepe!"

Darth Pepe: "It's really no big deal."


Coming soon... THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

Scene: Immediately after the last scene, Darth Pepe walks out of the room saying "What a crazy bitch."

Princess 'lary screams "Misogyny!"

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