Mar. 13th, 2012

Lollander

Mar. 13th, 2012 07:42 pm
Scene: A bar. It is night time. The customers are all 4chan faces. The Y-U-NO guy exits the door, bringing us to...

Scene: City street. The Y-U-NO guy walks down the street. A blurry shadow is behind him. He turns around and confronts his follower.

Y-U-NO: "Y U NO LET ME LIVE?"

The shadow of a hand thrusting a knife flashes across the screen.


Scene: Police gathered at the crime scene. It is now daytime. Enter detective LOLLANDER, wearing his standard black suitcoat over a rumpled button shirt and having Lolface for a head except that the smile is turned upside down into a frown. LOLLANDER shows his identification to the police.

LOLLANDER: "Lollander."

The police allow him to enter.

LOLLANDER looks down at the body and says nothing.
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On the bridge of the Cromulent ship. Captain Porno, nursing a hangover, sits in his recliner with one hand in of a big bag of Doritos. A Loud Crewman reports in, waving his hands and overacting almost every word.

LOUD CREWMAN: "CAPTAIN PORNO!!! The FEDDIERAYSHIN CAPTAIN is ARRIVING on BOARD our SHIP! He's GOING to BE HERE, ANY MINUTE!!!!! oh he's right here."

FEDDIE: "Hey, man, what's up?"
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Every major and minor character is gathered in the grand ballroom of the Ice King's palace. The Ice King stands on a balcony and addresses the group.

ICE KING: "I am holding this royal ball on this day, a week after the last time I held a royal ball, to show everyone that I have more balls than that stupid Fire King. I hope that, for you, this will be a day of joy and ecstacy. Really, I came loaded."
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Four people stand in a shattered, post-apocalyptic landscape. They are:


  • Bill from Left 4 Dead
  • Iji from Iji, with her gigantic Tasen General gun
  • Robert Neville (aka Legend) from I Am Legend, with his dog Sam
  • the Vault-Dweller from Fallout, wearing his Vault 13 uniform

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