May. 7th, 2012

(Ass. Press Wire) SACRAMENTO. The Republican-dominated Legislature voted 44-29 to forbid the public use of words with a length of eight letters or more. The bill is modeled on last year's law banning the use of four-letter words, which was passed with the support of the American Family Association, and awaits the signature of Governor Andrew Schlafly who is expected to approve it. The bill will apply even to those who have previously obtained a state permit to hold opinions in public.

Bill sponsor Anthony Portapotti [R-Pasadena] addressed supporters saying, "the law is a goo... uh, great law for peace and public decency. We can now get those weird words off our streets where no one can be weirded out by strange new things."

Exempted from the law are the names of California, Sacramento, and the personal names of some Republican lawmakers. Among the expected outcomes of the law are that the Republican party will be renamed the "GOP" which will not stand for anything and its members will be known as "Reds", and "San Fran" will become the official name of the city currently known as San Francisco.

Regulatory attention is expected to next turn to California's public flea markets, where the unregulated sale of elite books is said to be commonplace...



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