Florida's Department of Environmental Protection has banned all use of the terms "climate change" and "global warming". Permanent sea-level rise is referred to as "nuisance flooding". The order appears to come from the office of Governor Rick Scott.
The government’s "Cash for Clunkers" program – pitched as a plan to jump-start U.S. auto sales and clean up the environment by getting gas-guzzling vehicles off the road -- may have been a clunker itself, according to a new economic study.
As evidence for this conclusion, the article goes on to say that people traded in their big gas-guzzling vehicles for small fuel-efficient cars. In other words, the program worked exactly as intended. Fox calls it a failure because the small cars are also cheaper, so the auto industry made less money than they could have if people were buying big expensive gas guzzlers instead.
Fistfook Media's prize-winning journalist Gleen Grenwald has announced plans to release a gargantuan blast of flatulence in the near future. "This fart will be by far the biggest fart that I have ever farted," Grenwald predicted. "This is the fart that will expose the reality of manmade global warming by pushing the Earth's ecosystem over the tipping point." For maximum effect, Grenwald plans to release the fart directly into the face of David Koch.
The US government has argued that the release of the fart at this time may threaten the lives of endangered songbirds in the area and cause lasting damage to the resale value of nearby homes. However, Grenwald is not concerned. "I have been holding onto this for too long already," he said. "I feel inside me that the time is right for this release."
Yes, I have descended to the point of posting fart jokes. Pity me.