Fistfook Media's prize-winning journalist Gleen Grenwald has announced plans to release a gargantuan blast of flatulence in the near future. "This fart will be by far the biggest fart that I have ever farted," Grenwald predicted. "This is the fart that will expose the reality of manmade global warming by pushing the Earth's ecosystem over the tipping point." For maximum effect, Grenwald plans to release the fart directly into the face of David Koch.

The US government has argued that the release of the fart at this time may threaten the lives of endangered songbirds in the area and cause lasting damage to the resale value of nearby homes. However, Grenwald is not concerned. "I have been holding onto this for too long already," he said. "I feel inside me that the time is right for this release."

Yes, I have descended to the point of posting fart jokes. Pity me.

Glenn Greenwald's partner David Miranda was carrying "58,000 highly classified UK intelligence documents" when he was stopped for eight hours at Heathrow following a meeting with Laura Poitras.

So we can conclude:

  • The holdup of Miranda was not a harassment of Greenwald for the Snowden affair. They actually caught him spying and we can presume they had grounds for suspecting him. Thus anyone saying Miranda's arrest was harassment is lying. The people closest to Greenwald and Poitras knew they were lying.
  • There is a spy ring including Miranda and Poitras. Glenn Greenwald is almost certainly part of the spy ring as well, as to claim he is not would require him to not know what his partner was involved in while writing reports based on what his partner was involved in. And they all seem to be involved with Wikileaks.
  • We don't know who exactly the spy ring was spying for, but we know that Wikileaks has been caught selling data to to Russian client state Belarus, that Russia and China were very happy to receive Edward Snowden, and that Snowden's initial list of proposed destinations for asylum was a list of every currently Communist state plus Iceland for some reason. Whether they're state-run or simply selling to the highest bidder, we don't know.
  • Glenn Greenwald's reports on the Snowden affair were after-the-fact justifications for spying as well as distractions to direct the public's attention away from the spy ring's spying on the US, propaganda to encourage the recruitment of additional spies, and propaganda to discredit the US government.

The whole Snowden affair smelled fishy from the start. To mangle metaphores, now it's quacking like a duck. The first hint that something was wrong was "The Guardian". The second hint was "Glenn Greenwald". The third hint was the evidence not matching the reported claims of US spying. The fourth hint was the theft of a large number of documents coming before the discovery that any of them were (or could be read as) evidence of a scandal. The fifth hint was the massive public relations campaign to claim that documents related to any one scandal justified the taking of all the other documents, with press releases prepared on the day the reporting broke and activists spreading the word on popular websites. The sixth hint was the amazingly close similarity to the Bradley Manning case, as if everybody was working off the same script. The seventh hint was the involvement of Wikileaks which had turned into a bullshit factory with "collateral murder" and stood by its falsehoods after they were debunked. The eighth hint was Snowden going to China. The ninth hint was Snowden seeking asylum in the free democracies of authoritarian Cuba, authoritarian Venezuela, authoritarian Ecuador, etc. The tenth hint was Snowden landing in Russia. Now we have the hard conclusive proof that yes, they're a spy ring. I have the feeling this won't convince anyone.

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