[personal profile] tangaroa

Here's another rough draft from my Smash fanfic.

Scene: Earth?

The sky glowed a dull red as the dust in the upper atmosphere blotted out the sun. A few thin black clouds hung in the air above the ruined city. The buildings still stood tall, but there was no sign of life.

Scene: Office building

Inside what had once been a typical office building, a haggard young woman roughly stepped over the armor-wearing skeleton of someone whose long jaw of sharp teeth showed that the dead body was not human. She walked through an open doorway past the battle-scarred office furniture to the snack vending machine. After propping the heavy object she was carrying against the wall, she threw the vending machine to the floor and turned it over on its back with little apparent effort. She dropped to her knees and punched her fist through the plexiglass to grab the last item, a Fruity Oaty Bar.

She thought she heard something. Footsteps. She raised her head to listen and pulled her matted hair away from an ear. Definitely footsteps. Not an animal. Not heavy enough to be a lizard. A person? Impossible. She must be imagining things. She shook her head and returned her attention to the granola bar, biting off the end of its wrapper as the steady noise grew louder.

"There she is!" The man's sing-song voice was impossible to ignore. She dropped the food in her shock.

"Hi, Jill!" The voice again. She quickly turned around to see a balding man in his late forties, fatter and in better spirits than anyone deserved to be after an apocalypse. He wore what looked like a plain navy blue t-shirt, pleated pants of a lighter shade, a tool belt with a several unidentifiable items attached, and a tinted eyepiece attached by a thin arm to a plastic ring around his left ear. He waved at her. "My name is Miguel and I'm a recruiter with the Crash Championship. You can call me Mick."

"Mick." Her mouth made the word.

"Yeah!" Mick grinned enthusiastically. "We'll get along great!"

Jill blinked, still unsure how to react.

Mick switched to his sing-song voice. "I've got something for you." He reached down his front and unzipped a pouch at his waist, and produced a round orange object. "It's an orange!" He tossed it at her. It bounced off her shoulder. She pounced on it and chomped into it, eating the rind and all. Sweet juice poured down her chin.

"It's a Valencia." Mick said this last word with extra flair. "You like it? I bet you like it."

Jill felt that something was not right. This was too good to be true. She cautiously examined what was left of the orange. "What is this?"

Mick answered the unexpected question. "Um... an orange?"

"No..." Jill's hands shook. "It's not real. This can't be real. What am I eating. What am I eating." Her voice rose to a scream as she threw the orange aside. "WHAT AM I EATING???"

"That was an orange," Mick said with some worry in his voice. His concern quickly dissipated. "I can get you another. I can get you clean clothes and a shower, because you really need one." He unconsciously put a hand to his nose.

"Don't trust him, Jill." This third voice came from a young girl of about eight years old, standing beside her. Jill turned her head back to Mick, and the younger girl was gone as suddenly as she had appeared.

"What are you?" Jill asked Mick. The question was directed to herself as much as it was to him.

The question surprised Mick. "Oh, me? I'm Mick... I'm a businessman. My ship is parked outside..."

As Mick talked, Jill stood up and walked to the side wall and retrieved a gigantic black gun of impossible bulk. The height of its stock was nearly as tall as her torso. Mick cautiously took a step back.

Jill interrogated him further. "Your ship?"

"Yeah, I have a ship!" Mick beamed with pride. "We can just walk out and get going and I'll get you off this planet and we'll go someplace better."

Jill did not believe him. "The lizards will come. They will hunt you down."

Mick: "We won't have to worry about lizards where we're going. There are only people. And some bird people and insects and there are some lizards too but they are friendly."

Jill shook her head. "That's not possible."

Mick: "Sure it is! Let me show you."

Jill knew of her world's technology. "We don't have any spaceships. We don't have any colonies." She thought for a moment before reaching her conclusion. "You're not real."

Mick patted himself. "Sure I'm real. I'm pretty sure I'm real."

Jill smiled. "Anna says you're not real."

Mick: "Anna? Who is Anna?"

Jill: "Anna is my sister."

Mick: "Jill, I don't think your sister made it."

"What do you mean? She's right here." Jill nodded to her side.

Mick touched his eyepiece as he scanned the area. There was no one else there. "Uh, Jill?" He decided to roll with it. "Let's just go and your sister can come along with us!"

Jill smiled. "You're not real. You're just another hallucination." She raised her gun.

Mick: "Jill, put the gun down -- no, you should bring it along because you'll need it --"

Jill grinned cruelly as her gun's barrel glowed orange with energy. "I haven't hunted anything in weeks. This is going to be fun."

Mick screamed "SHIELDS!" as he jumped to the side and ran out the nearest door, dodging a spray of bullets.


As Mick ran down the hallway, something beeped and a mechanical voice stated "voice command not recognized." Mick yelled "Raise personal shields!" This resulted in the same beep and response: "voice command not recognized." Mick opened the door to a stairwell and entered as Jill fired at him from the end of the hallway.


An explosion in the hallway knocked the door off its hinges and the pressure wave knocked Mick down the stairs. Lying against the wall, Mick said "raise personal shields." A shimmer briefly covered him. He sighed "thank you" and began to stand up.

Jill appeared in the doorway. "There you are."

Mick jumped down to the next level of stairs as Jill fired into the wall behind him. Shrapnel from the explosion bounced off his personal shield.

The dismounted door covered the stairs in front of Jill. She kicked it down the stairs and fired a shattering blast into it.

Mick drew a cylinder with a handgrip from his toolbelt. He pushed a button on the cylinder with his thumb. The cylinder produced a short lightsaber about eight inches long. Mick sliced out the railing to his side and jumped across the center of the stairwell to the lower stairs. One of his heels landed on the lower railing and he slipped and fell face-first into the wall. The lightsaber pierced into the wall and then automatically turned off as it fell from his hand.

Mick picked up his lightsaber and started down the stairs to find the grim sight of two long-dead space lizards with large holes in their power armor. He paused and looked back up the stairs. He heard their killer slowly stepping down towards him. He also saw the gouge his lightsaber had made in the wall. He turned his lightsaber back on, carved a large circle into the wall, and kicked it. "Wherever this goes..." He looked back up the stairs as the wall section slid away beside him. Jill aimed her gun down at him. He dove through the hole without looking.


Mick screamed "it figures!" as he fell three stories into the mud outside of the building. He groaned as he rolled over. "Yep, it figures." His scanner had fallen off his ear. He picked it up out of the mud.

Jill leaped down and landed on a concrete walkway in front of him, shattering it. Her heavy gun slipped out of her hands.

Mick: "Uh, hey, Jill, could we talk about this? Less shooting? More talking?"

Jill picked up her gun. "No. More shooting." She aimed at Mick and grinned as the barrel glowed blue.

Mick yelled "Emergency transport pattern alpha!" A shimmering beam of light surrounded Jill, and she disappeared. Mick stood up, wiped his shirt, and wiped his hands on his pants. "Well, that was a waste. Maybe I should try again another time."

Author's notes:

Somebody did not go the pacifist route.

This scene will be the first scene of the first episode. Another scene was supposed to be first, then I thought of this scene but decided to throw it out because I liked the other scene better as an introduction, and then I decided I liked this one too much to throw it out.

This all started with the simple idea "what would happen if Iji and Samus had a fight?" and now I'm building a regulated tournament with 20 or something characters. I still haven't decided what would happen if they had a fight.

Never mentioned in-story so it belongs in the notes, Mick's transport pattern alpha is to beam the threat into the upper atmosphere because Mick is a dick. Killing off a main character at this point is not a problem because Mick just make another copy of the dimension and grab a different Jill. It's easy! And "another time" is meant to be taken literally.

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