Misadventure Time!
Mar. 13th, 2012 02:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tangaroaEvery major and minor character is gathered in the grand ballroom of the Ice King's palace. The Ice King stands on a balcony and addresses the group.
ICE KING: "I am holding this royal ball on this day, a week after the last time I held a royal ball, to show everyone that I have more balls than that stupid Fire King. I hope that, for you, this will be a day of joy and ecstacy. Really, I came loaded."
The Ice King reaches into a small bag and tosses eckies out into the audience, who catch the pills on their tongues and start dancing to the techno music that is now playing, waving glow sticks and water bottles and sucking on pacifiers beneath the multicoloured lights.
Suddenly, one of the guests also appears on the balcony.
JERRY GARCIA: "This is a great party, but does it pass the Acid Test?"
Jerry Garcia tosses handfuls of LSD tabs out of a larger sack. The partygoers happily gobble them up. Jake stretches across the floor licking up tabs like a cross between the Snake game and Pac-Man. The music gets slower and distorted, and glowing transparent colour-shifting Grateful Dead Bears march across the screen.
FINN: "The walls... are MELTING!"
The Ice King laughs and nudges him in the ribs.
ICE KING: "Ha ha, that's because this is an ice castle! Wait a minute. MY CASTLE IS MELTING!"
JAKE: "Only one villain could be behind this."
FINN: "It must be..."
The camera pans to a window, through which we see...
JAKE AND FINN: (simultaneously) "THE SUN!"
JAKE "We must stop it. Climb on to my back!"
FINN: "We'll teach that stupid sun not to mess with our planet!"
Finn climbs on Jake's back, and they fly outside and away into the sky.
Cut to Jake and Finn pulling up next to the sun. Finn pulls out a Glock and fires several rounds into the Sun.
FINN: "Earth Side, muthafucka!"
THE SUN: "Ow! Shit! Fuck, I've been shot! Goddamnit, that hurts!"
Finn makes a stupid face and giggles as Jake flies him away.
JAKE: "And now you know where sunspots come from."
[A quick short along the lines of "may you live in interesting times"]
A RAPIST: "I'm a rapist and I'm going to rape you."
PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: "Eek!"
FINN: "ADVENTURE TIME!"
Jake and Finn are playing.
Jake stretches out and spins his body around in spirals. Cut to see Finn laughing stupidly, and cut back and pan out to see Jake tied up in a big knot.
JAKE: "Dammit, I'm stuck. Could you help get me out of this knot?"
Finn flicks Jake's exposed scrotum.
FINN: "Haw, haw! Dog balls!"
JAKE: "Ow! Hey, stop that! Could you get some lubricant or something so I can get out of this?"
FINN: "I can't do that. This is a PG-rated cartoon."
JAKE: "Well, we need to come up with a way to get me unstuck. Try pulling this loop out so I can pull my head through it."
FINN: (seriously) "I know the solution." (shouting) "ADVENTURE TIME!"
The Adventure Time logo appears on screen. Finn pulls the sword out of the logo and raises it over his head.
FINN "I am Alek Zander!"
JAKE: "No, Finn, don't do it! Noooooo!"
With one grand swing, Finn chops Jake into macaroni.
JAKE: "I'm bleeding out... I'm dyin', Finn."
FINN: "Durr hurr hur!"
ICE KING: "I am holding this royal ball on this day, a week after the last time I held a royal ball, to show everyone that I have more balls than that stupid Fire King. I hope that, for you, this will be a day of joy and ecstacy. Really, I came loaded."
The Ice King reaches into a small bag and tosses eckies out into the audience, who catch the pills on their tongues and start dancing to the techno music that is now playing, waving glow sticks and water bottles and sucking on pacifiers beneath the multicoloured lights.
Suddenly, one of the guests also appears on the balcony.
JERRY GARCIA: "This is a great party, but does it pass the Acid Test?"
Jerry Garcia tosses handfuls of LSD tabs out of a larger sack. The partygoers happily gobble them up. Jake stretches across the floor licking up tabs like a cross between the Snake game and Pac-Man. The music gets slower and distorted, and glowing transparent colour-shifting Grateful Dead Bears march across the screen.
FINN: "The walls... are MELTING!"
The Ice King laughs and nudges him in the ribs.
ICE KING: "Ha ha, that's because this is an ice castle! Wait a minute. MY CASTLE IS MELTING!"
JAKE: "Only one villain could be behind this."
FINN: "It must be..."
The camera pans to a window, through which we see...
JAKE AND FINN: (simultaneously) "THE SUN!"
JAKE "We must stop it. Climb on to my back!"
FINN: "We'll teach that stupid sun not to mess with our planet!"
Finn climbs on Jake's back, and they fly outside and away into the sky.
Cut to Jake and Finn pulling up next to the sun. Finn pulls out a Glock and fires several rounds into the Sun.
FINN: "Earth Side, muthafucka!"
THE SUN: "Ow! Shit! Fuck, I've been shot! Goddamnit, that hurts!"
Finn makes a stupid face and giggles as Jake flies him away.
JAKE: "And now you know where sunspots come from."
[A quick short along the lines of "may you live in interesting times"]
A RAPIST: "I'm a rapist and I'm going to rape you."
PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: "Eek!"
FINN: "ADVENTURE TIME!"
Jake and Finn are playing.
Jake stretches out and spins his body around in spirals. Cut to see Finn laughing stupidly, and cut back and pan out to see Jake tied up in a big knot.
JAKE: "Dammit, I'm stuck. Could you help get me out of this knot?"
Finn flicks Jake's exposed scrotum.
FINN: "Haw, haw! Dog balls!"
JAKE: "Ow! Hey, stop that! Could you get some lubricant or something so I can get out of this?"
FINN: "I can't do that. This is a PG-rated cartoon."
JAKE: "Well, we need to come up with a way to get me unstuck. Try pulling this loop out so I can pull my head through it."
FINN: (seriously) "I know the solution." (shouting) "ADVENTURE TIME!"
The Adventure Time logo appears on screen. Finn pulls the sword out of the logo and raises it over his head.
FINN "I am Alek Zander!"
JAKE: "No, Finn, don't do it! Noooooo!"
With one grand swing, Finn chops Jake into macaroni.
JAKE: "I'm bleeding out... I'm dyin', Finn."
FINN: "Durr hurr hur!"
